I’m trying Quitting

It’s the beginning of the month, but, the end month of the year. A lot of everything happened since the pandemic lifestyle has slowly gone. I gain a lot of knowledge, friend, experience, and a lot of emotion that bring into my perspective of life. Everything changes and so do I, it is maybe correlated to me ending my teenage in 19.
I completely coming into the early year of 20, yeah, the twenties. I’ll be 20 next year, which is, That's pretty quick and I’m shocked. What I’ve been doing in the past year seems like fast, as fast as a blink of an eye. I still remember the time that I laugh together in front of the class with my classm8s or sneak out of physics class, coming late from school, and got scolded by the teacher like a normal highschool student. although I don't really like being in that school, the vibes of people that gave me the energy and bring my mood up every day really haunted my lonely and pathetic life now.

The biggest highlight of the perspective that changed a whole of my pattern of thinking was “being able to not give a single Fuck”, not because I've read the entire Mark Manson book about the subtle art of not giving a fuck, but people these days keep telling me to not worrying too much about other people opinions about you doing your basic bare minimum life. I keep telling myself not to do this and not to do that, that's sucks, and end up I don't know what am I supposed to do in this life. a close friend of mine really made me realize that I’m being hard on myself as I feel like everyone really comments on everything that I do either in real life or on the internet. I keep being silent here and everywhere.

Now, I decided to change.

I start and doing whatever I always wanted to do like painting, waking up in the morning, workout, having a good healthy meal, watching a series and movies that I forgot to watch like a year ago, making a good playlist every time my mood change to feel better, reading a book, and organizing stuff in my room. I made up my mind and set up my boundaries.
Basically, I’m trying to not hate myself by seeking distraction from a thing that causes me to overthink about everything. It makes me feel good, I feel better now. Knowing the fact that I have a really good mind and environment makes me feel very proud of myself, and I am always very grateful that I still have the privilege to be in this situation.

I still learn how to love myself more.

I quit 2021 Earlier than I thought. Now, Happy New Year.

and Hello to the 20s and other struggles that I’ll be facing in the future.

2021, 1st of December

11.55 p.m.